It's that mobile again

I know - I've already raged once about the mobile phone. But ther's more. This time it's those dammed recorded voice or text messages that are sent out by the thousands to get me to buy something, to announce a great new offer, to tell me what I have "won" or what my local politition is doing for me - apart from wasting my money on messages that is.

Not a day goes by without there being at least 2-4 voice or text messages sent to my mobile by some organisation or person who I have never heard of, never been in contact with and don't want to know them. I have no idea where they got my number - it wasn't from me, and I have no idea who gave them permission to bombard me with time wasting usless pleas and/or information.

The really annoying thing is that there in no one I can shout at, to vent my justifiable rage about having my privacy invaded and my time wasted - not to mention the increased risk of brain tumors from the extra usage of the mobile. When the phone beeps and announces that I have a new message, I always look to see what it is. I have to, I live in an area of political and military instability - there are often text messages warning of security problems or concerns that can effect me and my family. So, the phone beeps, I open and look, realise that it just more junk mail and close the device. Later, I have to waste more time, go into the bowels of the mobile to erase the unwanted garbage. All this takes time, my time, valuable time which could be better spent scratching under my armpits or working in the garden.

So' please, don't send me automated text or voice mail on my mobile - I JUST MIGHT GET VIOLENT!!!!!

Nokia, Motorola et al.....why why why?

Here it comes, the daily dose of venom. Today, its aimed at the cell phone - or rather, at those users of this pernicious device who, whilst themselves being hard of hearing, seem to think that the rest of the world also can't hear a thing - thus the need to shout when talking on their mobile phone. Or maybe, they think that what they have to say is of world shattering significance and the whole world has to share in the revelation?

To be honest, I don't like the mobile phone. Sure it's great in an emergency - car breaks down, need to call an ambulance etc. But do I really need to be accesable to the entire world 24 hours a day? I don't think so! I remember with fond nostalgia those days long gone when the only telephone was a landline device - at home, the office or a public booth. In those far off, long gone days of solitude ( it's all relative) when you drove off in your car, went for a walk, got on a bus or a train - you were alone with yourself and fellow travellers. Maybe, just maybe, you struck up a conversation with someone?

Today? No way! The endless shouting of cell phone users, the myriad, annoying ring tones that constantly puncture the air and my eardrums, put an end to any hope of a peacful, private journey.

So, obviously you think - "aha - he dosen't have a cellphone". Wrong - he does! But, I don't have a handsfree unit in the car! When I'm driving it's the only time when I can be alone. I don't reply to every number that is listed as not having been answered - if it's that important, they'll phone back! Sometimes, though I am ashamed to admit it, I don't even reply to messages left on voice mail - assuming I even remember to check! I often forget to recharge the "thing" (Saving energy I call it - my contribution to global awareness). I have even been known to, dare I say it, turn it off. On occasions, when I get one of those autoimated calls from a chain store or worse, a politician - the device has been known to fly accross the room with great force and impact on the wall before falling to the floor - unfortunately, still alive and functioning.

Wait a minute, how did I get here? Lets see, this started out as a diatribe againt people shouting on the mobile phones and ended up as an all out attack on the device itself. Oh well, that's what comes of being a grunpy old man - by the time I get to the end of a sentance, I can't remeber how I started. Have to send myself a reminder on my mobile!